


The End of Me

by an3m1c



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Gay Panic, Post-Canon, kanoka is one smooth mf, no beta we die like losers, shouko is losing her shit, women (swoons)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29632737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an3m1c/pseuds/an3m1c
Summary: This isn't Shouko's first time captaining a team, yet Kanoka's presence makes it impossible for her to maintain her composure.(aka Shouko's gay panic)
Relationships: Amanai Kanoka & Hirugami Shouko, Amanai Kanoka/Hirugami Shouko
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	The End of Me

**Author's Note:**

> ao3's first kanouko (kanoka amanai/hirugami shouko) fic :D
> 
> For context, this is set in 2018. Shouko is 25 and Kanoka is 22 based on the Haikyuu timeskip character stat sheets.

The first practice of the season means a clean slate, not that the Light Pharmaceutical Red Rabbits need one. Having won the V League Division 1 Championships last year, the team has every reason to start off their new season with unwavering confidence.

Yet, Hirugami Shouko stands in front of the new recruits with clammy hands and unsteady knees feeling anything but confident. 

This isn’t her first time captaining a team. Last year, she was the youngest captain in the V Leagues and took Japan by storm. She garnered the adoration of every volleyball fanatic since joining the V Leagues at 18., and during every match the entire stadium had their eyes glued to the opposite hitter with the long ponytail. Her playstyle was as mischievous as it was merciless, forcing every opposing team the Red Rabbits went up against to center their defense strategies around her. 

Shouko was used to striking the hearts of her opposition. What she wasn’t used to was being the victim of such a force. 

As a captain, she knows she could’ve prepared for this, _should’ve_ prepared for this. When she first caught her heart racing at the sight of Kanoka Amanai playing in the collegiate leagues, she should’ve started anticipating the worst. The worst being the situation she’s currently in, but what could she have done to prepare to stand in the presence of a goddess? ( And why didn’t anyone warn her that being queer would be _this hard?_ )

Japan’s volleyball scene eagerly followed the development of Shouko’s career, but they feared Kanoka Amanai. When Kanoka chose to attend college instead of heading straight into the V Leagues, all the Division 1 teams sighed in relief. Though none of them were going to have Kanoka on their team for another four years, they were also guaranteed to not see her on the opposite side of the net.

From Shouko’s experience, standing on the same side of the net was equally petrifying. 

As the new recruits line up for the new season, Shouko composes herself. The practice will be done before she knows it. Until then, she can lose herself in the training, using volleyball forget about Kanoka. That’s what she tells herself anyways, attempting to convince her restless mind to calm the fuck down and goddamn why wont her hands stop fidgeting!

It was easier said than done (isn’t it always?).

Kanoka is magnetic, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Shouko experienced this the first time she saw Kanoka play, but she was sitting in the stands then as an onlooker. Now, she watches her from mere meters away, completely mesmerized by each and every one of Kanoka’s movements. She was a pillar of athleticism and grace, and Shouko feels as though she’s watching someone play volleyball for the first time.

She spends the rest of practice maintaining whatever image of level-headedness she could muster. As captain, professionality for her team comes first. Addressing the churning in her chest can come later.

And later arrives in the form of sweaty palms and shaky knees as Shouko walks out of the stadium’s double doors and into the parking lot. She somehow made it to the end of practice along with the itching desire to get her new opposite hitter’s number and spend the evening lightly wallowing in rejection.

“Hey!” She shouts.

Kanoka turns around. “Oh hi Hirugami! Are you alright?” 

“Yeah don’t worry about me. Uh hey good job on your first day.” _Keep it together Shouko_.

“Thanks, I’m excited to be on the team.”

“We’re uh- we’re glad to have you.” Goddamn speaking in full sentences has never been so difficult.

“Thanks Hirugami. Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?” 

Caught.

“Uh yeah. I was- I was wondering- and you can totally say no. I mean, this is kind of weird with me as your captain and everything but-”

“Shouko,” Kanoka chuckles. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m going to save you the trouble and just give you my number.”

Shoko’s jaw drops 10 feet underground.

“Sorry,” Kanoka scratches the back of her neck. 

_Fuck, she’s cute,_ Shouko thinks still trying to process the situation. 

“I just noticed you glancing my way more than a few times during practice, and I always thought you were kind of cool since we played against each other at nationals all those years ago.”

Nationals? Right! Nationals. How could she have forgotten (seriously, _how?_ ). Shouko mentally slaps herself. 

In 2012, Kamomedai faced off against Niiyama in the national quarter-finals. Amanai wasn’t the ace of her team yet and Shouko thought she liked men. 

Shouko cringes at that last memory.

“Right right,” Shouko responds. “God, that was so long ago I almost forgot about that match. Niiyama gave us a tough time.”

“You’re too humble Hirugami,” Shouko feels her face burn at the comment. “Your team still beat us in the end. I think I could use some tea from you to sooth over the loss.”

Oh she’s smooth too, Shouko thinks and is sure her face turns an impossibly darker shade of red.

“I suppose, as captain, it’s my duty to take care of my teammates,” Shouko passes Kanoka her phone, hands still a little unsteady. 

“Hmm,” Kanoka types in her contact information. “I was content with a cup of tea, but I wouldn’t mind being taken care of either.” She smiles, faux sweet and innocent, and hands back Shouko’s phone.

“Funny,” it was not funny. What was Shouko supposed to say after _that?_

“Hey captain,” Kanoka brushes a strand of hair out of Shouko’s face, never quite touching her. The lack of contact in tandem with the close distance draws goosebumps down Shouko’s spine. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. And let me know when you’re free for tea.” She turns and walks away.

“Y- yeah. See ya.”

When Kanoka is finally out of sight, Shouko runs a slightly-less jittery hand through her hair and releases a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

_She’s going to be the end of me._

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone on Twitter was going feral over the timeskip captains, and Shouko wasn't getting the love she deserves so [waves at fic] this happened. This isn't supposed to be good. It's supposed to just exist. I sat down and wrote this in <1 hr just so I could make Kanouko a thing, and now here I am.
> 
> You're welcome to drop by and scream with me (or at me) on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/an3m1c) anytime :)


End file.
